To Fight For
by trunks111
Summary: KibaLee. Lee is tired of fighting. Tired of not being noticed. Tired of living. Can Kiba give him something to fight for? Yaoi. Shonen-ai.
1. Cut

**A/N: This will be similar to another story I did, but there will be very distinct differences. So..., warnings: Yaoi, shonen-ai, swearing, self-harm and such things, possible lemon later, maybe even rape or mentions thereof.  
Your reviews are always appreciated and I hope you guys like it. **

* * *

'_Search for the answers I knew all along_  
_I lost myself, we all fall down_  
_Never the wiser of what I've become_  
_Alone I stand, a broken man_'

Lee took his stance, facing Neji who had also taken up his stance.  
Seconds passed, leaves slowly drifted down from the branches of the surrounding trees, they charged. Blows were exchanged, none landing properly, they jumped back.

Again they charged with the same result.  
Looking at Neji, Lee crouched slightly lower in his stance, Neji's eyes narrowing, watching closely. Then with his tremendous speed, Lee seemed to disappear, running a wide arc to Neji's left, jumping and aiming a roundhouse kick to the other teen's head. Sensing and seeing the other teen's chakra, Neji ducked just in time, only to be hit with a right hook on the other side as Lee had seemingly disappeared again, hitting Neji in the jaw and rolling quickly away.  
Neji glared at Lee, a bruise on his jaw, he charged, directly at Lee then.

Lee went on the defensive, barely dodging and blocking Neji's onslaught of blows, Neji wasn't as quick as Lee, but it was close, when Lee had his weights on anyway. Finally, Lee back flipped away and as Neji charged again, enraged, Lee kicked him in the head with a roundhouse kick. Neji flew a few feet before coming to a stop, not getting back up as he usually would.  
Lee relaxed his stance, he and Tenten slowly approaching the fallen ninja.

Neji sat up as Tenten crouched beside him.  
"Are you okay?" Tenten asked, concern filled her voice.

"I'm fine." Neji replied stiffly, his Byakugan deactivated.

"It was a good match." Lee smiled, extending his hand to his teammate.

"Hn." Neji ignored the offered hand and stood.

"That was great work! Same time tomorrow!" Gai-sensei shouted with his trademark thumbs up before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

As always, Neji's unacknowledgement stung, but he tried not to think about it and started to the deeper part of the forest as Tenten tried to cheer Neji as they walked back towards the village.  
Lee would go back later. First, he had some things to do.

'_All I have is one last chance_  
_I won't turn my back on you_  
_Take my hand, drag me down_  
_If you fall then I will too_  
_And I can't save what's left of you_'

He walked deep into the forest, not so deep as he didn't know the way back, but deep enough that very few ever ventured that far. The trees were very thick, giving the small clearing a darker look. He went to his customary tree and began to train, practicing kicks and punches and various combinations. He only practiced for an hour before his arms and legs began to ache.

He sat heavily, his back pressed to his tree. He felt the tears beginning to form in his eyes. Why couldn't they acknowledge him? What had he done? Was he not good enough? Would he EVER be good enough?  
His tears began to spill down his pale cheeks. It wasn't right. He had proven himself time and time again. But still, it was like he wasn't good enough and never would be no matter what he did and said. He was so CLOSE yet..., so incredibly far away. As always, his life was Fair. No matter how hard he fought, how hard he worked, how hard he tried, how well he did, his efforts amounted to nothing. Just more hatred.

Neji hated him, he was sure of it.

He slowly started to unwrap the bandages around his arms, his hands shaking as he first did his left arm then his right. He was shaking, but not with tiredness, with fear and also anticipation.

'_Sing something new_  
_I have nothing left_  
_I can't face the dark without you_  
_There's nothing left to lose_  
_The fight never ends_  
_I can't face the dark without you_  
_Swallow me under and pull me apart_  
_I understand, there's nothing left_  
_Pain so familiar and close to the heart_  
_No more, no less, I won't forget_  
_Come back down, save yourself_  
_I can't find my way to you_  
_And I can't bear to face the truth_'

At training the next day, Lee's arms and legs shook, he was slower than usual. He was just as cheery though. Gai told them that they would be training with team seven that day. It would be the teams facing off against one another. Tenten would take out Sakura, Naruto for Lee, and Sasuke for Neji. Once they dealt with their opponent, they could help one of the others.

The fights began and Lee focused on fighting Naruto.  
As Lee thought he had the blond beat, he surprised him, landing a solid downward kick upon Lee's wrist. Lee fell forward, holding his arm to his chest, the pain was horrible. His breath came in short gasps, his bandages darked to a deep red.

Naruto was starting for a comeback hit, Lee back flipped out of the way, knowing he had to hide his arm and end the fight quickly.  
Holding his injured arm to his body, Lee ran at the blond, easily sidestepping his attacks, finally landing a solid kick to his jaw from which the blond didn't get right up from.

He trotted over to Gai and softly told him that he was going home early because he didn't feel well. Gai looked at him concernedly but Lee had already ran off, his head down.

Upon reaching his home, Lee went to the bathroom and slowly stripped off his bandage, throwing it in the trash. He looked at his pale arm, the bleeding had stopped and the blood had began drying, but as he lightly flexed his arm, more blood trickled from the latest cut he had made. His arm was a network of crisscrossing lines, all from a kunai, he himself, had wielded.  
He sighed softly and began to clean the wound and blood before re-bandaging his arm and then going to his bedroom to change into his night clothes.  
After changing he stood in his doorway, contemplating dinner or not. He wasn't that hungry to be honest, but he knew he should eat. He stood a few moments longer, at last deciding to just go lay down.

'_I wanted to forgive_  
_I'm trying to forget_  
_Don't leave me here again_  
_I am with you forever, the end_'

There was no comment over yesterday. They trained individually that day. Lee was careful and trained as hard as he could without opening a wound, if anyone noticed his less than usual effort, they didn't say a word. Gai gave them the next day off because they had a mission the day after that. It would be a simple C-rank, escorting a man of standing back to Sand.

On their day off, Lee walked around the village, not smiling, staring down at the ground, very unusual behavior for him. Yet, no one commented, no one seemed to notice. No one even threw him a glance as tears started to fall, but then, he was running, towards the training grounds and then deep into the forest.

Lee didn't notice, that someone had noticed him. Had noticed his change. Had noticed his tears. Someone had noticed. Someone very unlikely. But that someone was standing right where Lee's tears had fallen to the ground. He stared off the direction that Lee had run.

"Arf!"

"Yeah Akamaru, I should follow him."

"Arr, Arf!"

"I don't know what I'd say."

"Arf!"

"You're right. I'm going."

'_Holding the hand that holds me down_  
_I forgive you, forget you, the end_  
_Holding the hand that holds me down_  
_I forgive you, forget you, the end_'


	2. Hang out

'_If you only knew_  
_I'm hanging by a thread_  
_The web I spin for you_  
_If you only knew_  
_I'd sacrifice my beating_  
_Heart before I'd lose you_  
_I still hold onto the letters_  
_You returned_  
_I swear I've lived and learned_'

Kiba followed Lee's scent trail deep into the training ground forest.  
He crouched in a tree, watching as Lee sat and cried. He had the urge to go down and talk to him, but he had no idea what to say.  
He decided to go to Lee's house later and ask to hang with him. Kiba went back to the village and followed Lee's scent trail back to his house.

- Lee -

Lee unwrapped his arm, drawing a kunai. He pressed the sharp edge to his arm, slicing across it after a moment of staring at the scars. Blood spurted instantly, running down his arm.  
As he watched the blood flow, his thoughts turned. He would become his own person. He was tired of living in Gai-sensei's shadow. He would become someone, they would notice him.

He bandaged his arm tightly before sheathing the kunai and beginning the walk back to the village.

He went to the clothing store and bought three pairs of brown cargo pants that were slightly loose-fitting and a leaf green long sleeved shirt that fit him well, the sleeves though, were slightly large. After that, he went to the general store and bought razors for shaving and hair gel.  
With that finished, he returned to his house with two bags.

"Yo," Kiba called, jumping off the roof of Lee's house.

"Oh hey," Lee said, slightly startled.

"You busy tomorrow night?" Kiba asked.

"Yeah, actually, I have a mission tomorrow," Lee said, confused as to why Kiba would care.

"Oh well, come by the Inuzuka compound when you get back?" Kiba asked hopefully.

"Why?"

"I wanted to hang out with you for a while," Kiba said with a shrug, Akamaru barking his agreement.

Lee stared at Kiba.

"I mean, I know we've never been close or anything," he shrugged, "But I thought it might be fun, you know?"

Lee nodded, still speechless.

"So just come by when you get back, you can probably stay over at my place and we can watch some movies or something," Kiba grinned.

A blush heated Lee's pale cheeks. Looking away he said, "I will seek you out when we get back from our mission."

"Cool, see you then," Kiba grinned and trotted off.

'_It's 4:03 and I can't sleep_

_Without you next to me I_  
_Toss and turn like the sea_  
_If I drown tonight, bring me_  
_Back to life_  
_Breathe your breath in me_  
_The only thing that I still believe_  
_In is you, if you only knew_'

He opened the door and went to his room. Why had he blushed? Kiba was just another genin ninja. But..., Kiba had wanted to hang out with him. Him. Rock Lee. He could hardly believe it. But what did Kiba want?  
He sighed, he'd simply have to wait and see.

After putting his new clothes away, Lee went to the bathroom and began to shave his eyebrows to a normal size. When that finished, he set the gel beside the sink and went to change for bed. Tomorrow, was the mission. It would take about four days to get there and back.

'_If you only knew_  
_How many times I counted_  
_All the words that went wrong_  
_If you only knew_  
_How I refuse to let you go,_  
_Even when you're gone_  
_I don't regret any days I_  
_Spent, nights we shared,_  
_Or letters that I sent_'

The next morning, Lee dressed in his new clothes. After dressing, he went to the bathroom and got gel on his hands. Then he ran his fingers through his hair, messily spiking it.  
After rinsing his hands, he got his kunai, shuriken, and weights. Lastly, he put his sandals on and went to the Hokage's office.

Noone commented on Lee's change, Gai though, looked at Lee with worry but also pride. Lee was becoming himself, he had been in his shadow, but that had given him purpose, now though, it seemed he was growing up.

The mission went easily and without complication. Gai gave them the next two days off in congratulation.

'_It's 4:03 and I can't sleep_  
_Without you next to me I_  
_Toss and turn like the sea_  
_If I drown tonight, bring me_  
_Back to life_  
_Breathe your breath in me_  
_The only thing that I still believe_  
_In is you, if you only knew_  
_If you only knew_'

Lee went to the Inuzuka compound after dropping his things off at his house.  
Kiba greeted him at the door.

"I have the next two days off," Lee told him.

"Cool. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know," Lee shrugged.

"Well come in," Kiba moved aside.

Lee walked past him and stood awkwardly.

"What's with the new look?" Kiba asked, motioning for him to follow as he walked.

"I wanted a change," Lee replied softly.

"I like it," Kiba smirked, though his back was to the other boy.

Lee blushed.

It was true though, Kiba really liked Lee's new look. He looked..., hot.

"Well, I've got a couple of different movies to choose from. Dinner will be whenever we get hungry."

Lee nodded, still blushing, hoping Kiba wouldn't turn to him.

Kiba opened the door to his room and walked in, Lee following.

"Well let's watch Limitless then we can watch SAW, I've got all of them."

Lee nodded again, standing awkwardly again, the only place to sit being on Kiba's bed.

"Well, sit," Kiba sad, sitting on his bed and putting the dvd in the player, laying back on his bed as it began. Lee sat on the edge of the bed, close to the wall, his attention divided between Kiba and the tv.

'_If you only knew_  
_I still hold onto the letters_  
_You returned_  
_You help me live and learn_

_It's 4:03 and I can't sleep_  
_Without you next to me I_  
_Toss and turn like the sea_  
_If I drown tonight, bring me_  
_Back to life_  
_Breathe your breath in me_  
_The only thing that I still believe_  
_In is you, believe in is you_  
_I still believe in you_  
_Oh, if you only knew_'


	3. I love you

'_Before I hung up the phone all I could hear _  
_Was the dial tone ring in my ear _  
_If I could go back in time _  
_I'd say those three words _  
_I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you _  
_And this can't be saved if you can't be found _  
_You hung up and left me for dead on the ground _  
_You didn't even say goodbye _  
_I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you_'

Lee's mind wasn't really on the movies as he sat with Kiba. He was thinking about his life. So far, only Kiba had noticed him. Only Kiba. No one else.  
He looked at the other boy, confusion in his eyes.

Could Kiba actually like him?  
Well..., he wasn't naturally a secretive person, so he would just ask Kiba. After the first movie.

At last, the movie credits started and Kiba got up t change the dvd.

"Kiba, do you like me?"

Kiba froze in what he was doing before stuttering a reply, "Wh...what do you mean?"

"Do you like me for who I am?"

"Of course I do Lee," Kiba replied, relaxing.

"Do you like me as more than a friend?" Lee's next question came suddenly, after a few moments of near silence while Kiba found the next dvd.

"Wh..why do you ask that?"

"Simple curiosity. You've never asked me to hang out with you before."

"Akamaru noticed you had been crying and wanted me to help you," Kiba said with a shrug, totally avoiding the question, hoping Lee wouldn't notice.

"You didn't answer my question..., but my guess is you don't...," Lee said, a soft sigh at the end of his words.

"...Well your guess is wrong then," Kiba answered, his back still to Lee as he put the dvd in the dvd player.

Lee was speechless, staring at Kiba's back.

"I've been meaning to talk to you, I've just always been busy or you have. You're always training..., I didn't think you'd have time for me," Kiba confessed quietly.

Of course I would have made time for you, Lee thought painedly. Wishing Kiba had expressed his feelings earlier. Now, now though, he wasn't sure if Kiba could be enough for him.  
The pull of the kunai was so strong. No one had noticed him for so long. He had changed and only one person took notice. He was insignificant.

Kiba would forget about him. Kiba was just one person. Could... Kiba be enough? Could he find out?

All these thoughts whirled in Lee's head as Kiba took off his hoody and sat with Lee again. They continued throughout the night, dreaming as he slept.

'_Now that you're gone I'm wasting away _  
_The life has been siphoned right out of my veins _  
_If I could go back in time _  
_I'd say those three words _  
_I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you _  
_And this can't be saved if you can't be found _  
_You hung up and left me for dead on the ground _  
_You didn't even say goodbye _  
_I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you_'

It had been three months since Kiba's revelation.  
They had begun to date the next day.

Lee had told Kiba about the kunai two weeks before. Having cut three times since their beginning to date.  
Kiba was angry. At what, Lee wasn't sure. He held Lee tightly, and Lee relaxed into his embrace.

Still though, Lee wasn't sure if Kiba was enough. The kunai was so sharp..., so cold..., so inviting...

Kiba had left for a mission the day before. He wouldn't be back for another two days. Lee didn't have a mission until the next day.

He sat in his room, the kunai across from him. He stared at it.

Kiba.  
Kunai.  
Kiba.  
Kunai.

A week ago, Kiba had held him and told Lee that he loved him. Since then, Kiba said it every chance he got. Whispering it to him.  
Lee had been too stunned to reply at first. He wasn't sure if he loved Kiba. He wasn't even sure if it was possible for him to love...

Kiba deserved better than what Lee had allowed himself to become.

Lee picked up a scroll and pencil, beginning to write.

'Dear Kiba,

I'm sorry I never got to tell you in person. I love you Kiba Inuzuka. I am grateful for what you tried to do. Know that I will always love you.

- Lee'

He sealed the scroll and left it where Kiba would find it.  
Then he picked up the kunai. Pulling up his sleeves, Lee found he was calm. He sat cross legged. Holding the kunai steadily, he brought it to his arm. Pressing the sharp point hard enough to draw blood. He jerked it down. From the edge of his wrist to the bend of his elbow. Right above the vein. He did the same to the other wrist then. Calm.

Complete and utter calm.  
A smile on his lips.

He sat up as long as he could.  
Laying back, everything getting fuzzier and fuzzier.

Softly, he uttered his last words, "Thank you Kiba Inuzuka. I love you."

- Next day -

Kiba returned to Konoha, hurrying to Lee's.

When he got there, he fell to his knees.  
Lee's body was lying in blood. A kunai beside him. A scroll on the bed.

Kiba opened the scroll.

After reading it, he sat beside Lee for a long time. A deep ache in his heart.  
"I love you too Rock Lee," Kiba's word's were soft as he sat beside his boyfriend. Numbly, he stroked the boy's hair for a while longer.

_'When you said those three words  
I kinda freaked out  
When you said them first my jaw hit the ground  
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you  
And this can't be saved if you can't be found  
You hung up and left me for dead on the ground  
You didn't even say goodbye  
And this can't be saved  
And this can't be saved  
If you can't be found  
If you can't be found  
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you  
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you_'


End file.
